I couldn’t Say Anything when I Saw Her Again

I couldn’t Say Anything when I Saw Her Again

The worst challenges that one may encounter are not about the worst things of the world – these are the best things one can’t achieve because one is not destined to fit into the nature’s formula. Just because of the fact that this one formula fails, one sees the world differently. All that stands rigid are not meant for forever. All that one achieves are not the success stories that stays forever. These are the few things I knew from her.

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It took me four years to see her again. Once she was something I couldn’t live without. But when I saw her again, she was stranger than any one I could imagine. I couldn’t believe it was with my own eyes to see her again. I couldn’t believe how I gained that strength to see her again.

Looking back into the mirror of the past, she was someone I trusted more than anyone. I dreamed of the better world with her. I saw the future with her.   Sadly, these are shattered into pieces of decaying memories.

The last time I her was sometime in 2013 in my arms. Since then, right after our departure, our story changed. The nature’s formula didn’t work between us. Through thick and thin, I longed to keep it right but things turned different. We began to live in two different worlds, further than the distance that kept apart.

I tried. I tried the best I could to keep the things moving but at times, it was not up to my capabilities to hold on to.

All I had to do was let her go – let her live in her world she believes.

I don’t know what went wrong in our stars – today I saw her again.

It took me four years to see her again. Once she was something I couldn’t live without. But when I saw her again, she was stranger than any one I could imagine. I couldn’t believe it was with my own eyes to see her again. I couldn’t believe how I gained that strength to see her again.

I was sitting next to her in a restaurant. I couldn’t look at her, neither on the table nor on the drink did she order. All I could do was keep staring at the air conditioner that keep blowing chilled air like a winter morning.

She wanted me to be talk more. But how would I do that when even breathing air keep constricting my throat? She wanted me to eat the snacks she ordered. But how would I do that when sipping lassi through the straw was a herculean task?

I don’t know how the time went but when I realized it was already time for her to go. I dropped her at the bus station, let her get in and I turned away – not to see her.

Or never to see her again…